I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
