Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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