just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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