I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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