I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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