I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
