Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
