Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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