hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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