hell yes lets make some ravioli
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
