I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
