Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
