Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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