I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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