she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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