How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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