I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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