We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
