I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
