now i know why i became what i already was.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
