Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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