well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
