i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
