My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
