I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
