Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
