mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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