So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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