How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
