im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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