Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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