how can u be prego again
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
do herpes really smell.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
