You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
