just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
