i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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