I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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