Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
