Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
