she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
God, I missed his penis.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
