Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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