eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
