Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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