No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
