She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
