i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize