the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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