I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
