Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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