Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
