A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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