Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
this just has baby written all over it
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
