I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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