She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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