Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
