I wannas sexs uuuuu
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i drank out of a bidet.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
