my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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