I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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