So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
