how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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