I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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