So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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