Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Randomize
