Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
