Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize