The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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