Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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