More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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