I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
