yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
