Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
